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I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Books
Change
Give
Book
Giving
Nine

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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I have an agreement with the houseflies. The flies don't practice law and I don't walk on the ceiling.
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The Two Most Important Words In The World Are Honesty And Sincerity, If You Can Fake These You've Got It Made.
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Since my daughter is only half-Jewish, could she go in the water up to her knees?
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I would never join a country club with standards so low as to allow me as a member.
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A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it
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Poverty makes people sub-human Excess of wealth makes people inhuman
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The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
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Bel Air, I am convinced, was laid out by some diabolic sadist who deliberately decided not to use a compass or a surveyor.
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As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife.
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I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are.
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Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
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If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
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I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
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The first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract-- Look, why should we quarrel about a thing like this? We'll take it right out, eh?
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If they'd lower the taxes and get rid of the smog and clean up the traffic mess, I really believe I'd settle here until the next earthquake.
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Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
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[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face.
Groucho Marx
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Blood's not thicker than money.
Groucho Marx
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I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.
Groucho Marx
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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
Groucho Marx