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Making love to your wife is like shooting at sitting ducks.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Sitting
Wife
Successful
Making
Love
Like
Ducks
Shooting
More quotes by Groucho Marx
If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much - just an occasional sun visor.
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I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books
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Why don't you go home to your wife? Better yet, I'll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement, she won't notice any difference.
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I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.
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I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure.
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Will you marry me? Do you have any money? Answer the second question first.
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[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face.
Groucho Marx
Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house.
Groucho Marx
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
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I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you've triumphed. Somebody once said it's what you dont see you're interested in, and this is true.
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Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
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Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did.
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No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.
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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
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Before I speak, I have something important to say.
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I hate London when it's not raining.
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You're only as young as the woman you feel.
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That's nothing - my alarm clock is set for eight.
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I'm gonna put extra blankets, free, in all your rooms, and there'll be no cover charge.
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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
Groucho Marx