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Making love to your wife is like shooting at sitting ducks.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Shooting
Sitting
Wife
Successful
Making
Love
Like
Ducks
More quotes by Groucho Marx
There's a man outside with a big black mustache. - Tell him I've got one.
Groucho Marx
Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls.
Groucho Marx
Anyone buying this book is going to be out a tidy sum if he is sucked in by the title. I wish I could write a real sexy book that would be barred from the mails. Apparently nothing whets a reader's appetite for literature more than the news that the author has been thrown into a federal pokey for disturbing the libido of millions of Americans.
Groucho Marx
My experience is that people are most likely to listen to reason when in bed.
Groucho Marx
The only real laughter comes from despair.
Groucho Marx
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
Groucho Marx
If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price we have to pay for sweeping a woman off hers.
Groucho Marx
Patience is the art of finding something else to do.
Groucho Marx
When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, I was just whispering in her mouth
Groucho Marx
Hello, I must be going, I cannot stay, I came to say, I must be going. I’m glad I came, but just the same, I must be going.
Groucho Marx
I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills
Groucho Marx
This book was written in those long hours I spent waiting for my wife to get dressed to go out. And if she had never gotten dressed at all this book would never have been written.
Groucho Marx
I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you've triumphed. Somebody once said it's what you dont see you're interested in, and this is true.
Groucho Marx
If it gets any hotter in here I could use a big fan.
Groucho Marx
That's bad luck: three on a midget. From At The Circus
Groucho Marx
A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
Groucho Marx
[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face.
Groucho Marx
Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy
Groucho Marx
Obviously there was no point in being a bachelor if his houseman was going to filch his booze. If he was going to get robbed, he might just as well get married.
Groucho Marx
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
Groucho Marx
