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Making love to your wife is like shooting at sitting ducks.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Ducks
Shooting
Sitting
Wife
Successful
Making
Love
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Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
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How much would you want to stand at the wrong end of a shooting gallery?
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Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
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Remember, the grass is always greener where you don't happen to be the neighbor.
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My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
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I intend to live forever, or die trying.
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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
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Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
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I shall drink no # wine before it's time! OK, it's time.
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If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
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I think you've got something there, but I'll wait outside until you clean it up.
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Oh, are you from Wales? Do you know a fella named Jonah-He used to live in whales for a while
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No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.
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Come on in girls, and leave all hope behind.
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If you were a man, you'd go into business for yourself. I know a fellow who started out last year with just a canoe. Now he's got more women than you can shake a stick at, if that's your idea of a good time.
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When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, I was just whispering in her mouth
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Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies? There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready made.
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