Quote

Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?

Groucho Marx

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Introduction
Insult
Suppose
Humor
Funny
Back

More quotes by Groucho Marx

Image
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
Groucho Marx
Image
There's only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family, for everything else you need a plan.
Groucho Marx
Image
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Groucho Marx
Image
Anyone buying this book is going to be out a tidy sum if he is sucked in by the title. I wish I could write a real sexy book that would be barred from the mails. Apparently nothing whets a reader's appetite for literature more than the news that the author has been thrown into a federal pokey for disturbing the libido of millions of Americans.
Groucho Marx
Image
Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water!
Groucho Marx
Image
If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much - just an occasional sun visor.
Groucho Marx
Image
All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
Groucho Marx
Image
John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight.
Groucho Marx
Image
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
Groucho Marx
Image
You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?
Groucho Marx
Image
Chico: Here's the book, it's a dollar Groucho: Here's a ten, and shoot the change. Chico: I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books.
Groucho Marx
Image
Patience is the art of finding something else to do.
Groucho Marx
Image
Oh, why can't we break away from all this, just you and I, and lodge with my fleas in the hills? I mean flee to my lodge in the hills.
Groucho Marx
Image
A thing that has always baffled me about women is that they will saturate themselves with a pint of perfume, a pound of sachet powder, an evil-smelling lip rouge, a peculiar-smelling hair ointment and a half-dozen varieties of body oils, and then have the effrontery to complain of the aroma of a fine dollar cigar.
Groucho Marx
Image
If you were a man, you'd go into business for yourself. I know a fellow who started out last year with just a canoe. Now he's got more women than you can shake a stick at, if that's your idea of a good time.
Groucho Marx
Image
[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face.
Groucho Marx
Image
Well I thought my razor was dull until I heard his speech, and that reminds me of a story that's so dirty I'm ashamed to think of it myself.
Groucho Marx
Image
I am a man and you are a woman. I can't think of a better arrangement.
Groucho Marx
Image
Hail, hail Freedonia, land of the free!
Groucho Marx
Image
If you are not having fun you are doing something wrong.
Groucho Marx