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Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Suppose
Humor
Funny
Back
Introduction
Insult
More quotes by Groucho Marx
Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
Groucho Marx
Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
Groucho Marx
One woman and one man might have been OK in your grandmother's day, but who wants to marry your grandmother? Not even your grandfather!
Groucho Marx
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Groucho Marx
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
Groucho Marx
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
Groucho Marx
Firefly: Where is your husband? Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead. Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse. Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end. Firefly: Hmmph. No wonder he passed away. Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him. Firefly: Oh I see. Then, it was murder.
Groucho Marx
Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know.
Groucho Marx
Why don't you go home to your wife? Better yet, I'll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement, she won't notice any difference.
Groucho Marx
I know, I know - you're a woman who's had a lot of tough breaks. Well, we can clean and tighten those brakes, but you'll have to stay in the garage all night.
Groucho Marx
Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water!
Groucho Marx
I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
Groucho Marx
My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
Groucho Marx
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
Groucho Marx
Humor is reason gone mad.
Groucho Marx
I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books
Groucho Marx
I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
Groucho Marx
Before you speak, make certain you have something worthwhile to say.
Groucho Marx
If it gets any hotter in here I could use a big fan.
Groucho Marx
I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.
Groucho Marx
