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Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Funny
Back
Introduction
Insult
Suppose
Humor
More quotes by Groucho Marx
You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar.
Groucho Marx
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
Groucho Marx
I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
Groucho Marx
Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
Groucho Marx
Patience is the art of finding something else to do.
Groucho Marx
A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
Groucho Marx
I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can't see the stove
Groucho Marx
I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
Groucho Marx
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
Groucho Marx
When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay.
Groucho Marx
If you are not having fun you are doing something wrong.
Groucho Marx
Before you speak, make certain you have something worthwhile to say.
Groucho Marx
[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.
Groucho Marx
A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it
Groucho Marx
Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know.
Groucho Marx
Blood's not thicker than money.
Groucho Marx
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
Groucho Marx
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
Groucho Marx
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Groucho Marx
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
Groucho Marx
