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Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
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Introduction
Insult
Suppose
Humor
Funny

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A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
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I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.
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One woman and one man might have been OK in your grandmother's day, but who wants to marry your grandmother? Not even your grandfather!
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I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
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Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
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There's only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family, for everything else you need a plan.
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If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much - just an occasional sun visor.
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Only if the computers really love each other.
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Humor is reason gone mad.
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I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
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Well I thought my razor was dull until I heard his speech, and that reminds me of a story that's so dirty I'm ashamed to think of it myself.
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The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
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Mrs. Teasdale congratulates him on his coronation and sovereignty: The eyes of the world are upon you. Notables from every country are gathered here in your honor. This is a gala day for you. Firefly replies: Well, a gal a day is enough for me. I don't think I could handle any more.
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Chico: Here's the book, it's a dollar Groucho: Here's a ten, and shoot the change. Chico: I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books.
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Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
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I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills
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Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy
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If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
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I can't understand why you don't get any mail from me. Perhaps it's because I haven't been writing
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