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Today's Father Day and we're giving you a tie, it's not much you know, it's just our way of showing you, you're a regular guy.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Humor
Guy
Funny
Father
Today
Giving
Regular
Much
Showing
Way
Ties

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Madam, you're making history, in fact, you're making me, and I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself
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Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
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Love had forged ahead so swiftly that in no time it had displaced agriculture as the leading industry of the period. To anyone who has tried both, this wont come as much of a surprise.
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My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
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Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls.
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I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
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Middle age is when you go to bed at night and hope you feel better in the morning. Old age is when you go to bed at night and hope you wake up in the morning.
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If they'd lower the taxes and get rid of the smog and clean up the traffic mess, I really believe I'd settle here until the next earthquake.
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I have an agreement with the houseflies. The flies don't practice law and I don't walk on the ceiling.
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Before you speak, make certain you have something worthwhile to say.
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Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members.
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Hail, hail Freedonia, land of the free!
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Growing old is something you do if you're lucky.
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Yes, darling, let me cover your face with kisses-On second thought, just let me cover your face
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One woman and one man might have been OK in your grandmother's day, but who wants to marry your grandmother? Not even your grandfather!
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Poverty makes people sub-human Excess of wealth makes people inhuman
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Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?
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Firefly: Where is your husband? Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead. Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse. Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end. Firefly: Hmmph. No wonder he passed away. Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him. Firefly: Oh I see. Then, it was murder.
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Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
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