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Today's Father Day and we're giving you a tie, it's not much you know, it's just our way of showing you, you're a regular guy.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Today
Giving
Regular
Much
Showing
Way
Ties
Humor
Guy
Funny
Father

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If you are not having fun you are doing something wrong.
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Poverty makes people sub-human Excess of wealth makes people inhuman
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Before I speak, I have something important to say.
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Before you speak, make certain you have something worthwhile to say.
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That's nothing - my alarm clock is set for eight.
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A cigar makers organization once said that I was the most famous cigar smoker in the world. I dont know if thats true, but once while visiting Havana, I went to a cigar factory. There were four hundred people there rolling cigars, and when they saw me, they all stood up and applauded.
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Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water!
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The Two Most Important Words In The World Are Honesty And Sincerity, If You Can Fake These You've Got It Made.
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I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but love fried eggs would buy it if the price was right.
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Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
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There's only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family, for everything else you need a plan.
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It isn't so much that hard times are coming the change observed is mostly soft times going.
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A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
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Money cannot buy you happiness, and happiness cannot buy you money. That might be a wise crack, but I doubt it.
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I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.
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Even the intellectual crowd will have none of me. Physically, I look like one of them. Graying at the temples, I walk with a slight limp and wear thick glasses.
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A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
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As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife.
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