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You've got a goal in life. I've got a goal. Now all we need is a football team.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Football
Team
Goal
Need
Needs
Life
Nfl

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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Growing old is something you do if you're lucky.
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Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
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Chico: Here's the book, it's a dollar Groucho: Here's a ten, and shoot the change. Chico: I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books.
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Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here!
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Two women at a resort discussed dinner: The food here is lousy, the first noted. You're right! And such small portions!! the second added
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There's a man outside with a big black mustache. - Tell him I've got one.
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I don't know. When I was born there was a nurse taking care of me. What's the matter? Couldn't the nurse take care of herself? Sure she could. I just found that out too late.
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I have an agreement with the houseflies. The flies don't practice law and I don't walk on the ceiling.
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Love had forged ahead so swiftly that in no time it had displaced agriculture as the leading industry of the period. To anyone who has tried both, this wont come as much of a surprise.
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I can't understand why you don't get any mail from me. Perhaps it's because I haven't been writing
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Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls.
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There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit... Retire!
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Hello, I must be going, I cannot stay, I came to say, I must be going. I’m glad I came, but just the same, I must be going.
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There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he is a crook.
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I'll teach you to kick me...' You don't need to teach me--I already know how!
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Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
Groucho Marx
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I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.
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Today's Father Day and we're giving you a tie, it's not much you know, it's just our way of showing you, you're a regular guy.
Groucho Marx
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I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
Groucho Marx
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The Two Most Important Words In The World Are Honesty And Sincerity, If You Can Fake These You've Got It Made.
Groucho Marx