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He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Inspiration
Full
Wick
Days
Lighted
Three
Burn
Alcohol
Mouth
Mouths
Drinking

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He thinks I look alike!
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Given the choice between a woman and a cigar, I will always choose the cigar.
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All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
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I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you've triumphed. Somebody once said it's what you dont see you're interested in, and this is true.
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Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
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If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price we have to pay for sweeping a woman off hers.
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I think you've got something there, but I'll wait outside until you clean it up.
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You've got a goal in life. I've got a goal. Now all we need is a football team.
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I never go to movies where the hero's tits are bigger than the heroine's.
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When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, I was just whispering in her mouth
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Yes, darling, let me cover your face with kisses-On second thought, just let me cover your face
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Now that you're Secretary of War, what kind of an army do you think we ought to have?
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Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies? There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready made.
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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
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Only if the computers really love each other.
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TV is the rat race of the century.
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The difference between a politician and a snail is that the snail leaves its slime behind. Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
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Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world.
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Three years ago I came to Florida without a nickel in my pocket. Now I've got a nickel in my pocket
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