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He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Inspiration
Full
Wick
Days
Lighted
Three
Burn
Alcohol
Mouth
Mouths
Drinking
More quotes by Groucho Marx
I have an agreement with the houseflies. The flies don't practice law and I don't walk on the ceiling.
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Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
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Love had forged ahead so swiftly that in no time it had displaced agriculture as the leading industry of the period. To anyone who has tried both, this wont come as much of a surprise.
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She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. That's why she's in love with me.
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I cannot say that I don't disagree with you.
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She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
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I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can't see the stove
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Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
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A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
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I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
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Firefly: Where is your husband? Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead. Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse. Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end. Firefly: Hmmph. No wonder he passed away. Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him. Firefly: Oh I see. Then, it was murder.
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You're only as young as the woman you feel.
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What have future generations ever done for us?
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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
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