Quote

He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days.

Groucho Marx

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Full
Wick
Days
Lighted
Three
Burn
Alcohol
Mouth
Mouths
Drinking
Inspiration

More quotes by Groucho Marx

Image
Two women at a resort discussed dinner: The food here is lousy, the first noted. You're right! And such small portions!! the second added
Groucho Marx
Image
Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies? There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready made.
Groucho Marx
Image
I would never join a country club with standards so low as to allow me as a member.
Groucho Marx
Image
I've known and respected your husband for many years, and what's good enough for him is good enough for me
Groucho Marx
Image
She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. That's why she's in love with me.
Groucho Marx
Image
Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
Groucho Marx
Image
I know, I know - you're a woman who's had a lot of tough breaks. Well, we can clean and tighten those brakes, but you'll have to stay in the garage all night.
Groucho Marx
Image
My experience is that people are most likely to listen to reason when in bed.
Groucho Marx
Image
Yes, darling, let me cover your face with kisses-On second thought, just let me cover your face
Groucho Marx
Image
When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay.
Groucho Marx
Image
Now that you're Secretary of War, what kind of an army do you think we ought to have?
Groucho Marx
Image
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow women.
Groucho Marx
Image
The foods that are recommended today are as palatable as a steady diet of wet blotters.
Groucho Marx
Image
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
Groucho Marx
Image
That's nothing - my alarm clock is set for eight.
Groucho Marx
Image
If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much - just an occasional sun visor.
Groucho Marx
Image
If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price we have to pay for sweeping a woman off hers.
Groucho Marx
Image
To write an autobiography of Groucho Marx would be as asinine as to read an autobiography of Groucho Marx.
Groucho Marx
Image
There's only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family, for everything else you need a plan.
Groucho Marx
Image
The difference between a politician and a snail is that the snail leaves its slime behind. Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
Groucho Marx