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He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Mouths
Drinking
Inspiration
Full
Wick
Days
Lighted
Three
Burn
Alcohol
Mouth
More quotes by Groucho Marx
Remember, the grass is always greener where you don't happen to be the neighbor.
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How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them.
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
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I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
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Bel Air, I am convinced, was laid out by some diabolic sadist who deliberately decided not to use a compass or a surveyor.
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Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns
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I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books
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I'll teach you to kick me...' You don't need to teach me--I already know how!
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The Two Most Important Words In The World Are Honesty And Sincerity, If You Can Fake These You've Got It Made.
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Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
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I don't want to join the kind of a club that accepts people like me as members.
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Obviously there was no point in being a bachelor if his houseman was going to filch his booze. If he was going to get robbed, he might just as well get married.
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Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water!
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A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
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Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the worst about Hollywood
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Chico: Here's the book, it's a dollar Groucho: Here's a ten, and shoot the change. Chico: I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books.
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I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
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Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here!
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Love had forged ahead so swiftly that in no time it had displaced agriculture as the leading industry of the period. To anyone who has tried both, this wont come as much of a surprise.
Groucho Marx
You get a canoe later and I'll paddle you.
Groucho Marx
