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He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Full
Wick
Days
Lighted
Three
Burn
Alcohol
Mouth
Mouths
Drinking
Inspiration

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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Mrs. Teasdale congratulates him on his coronation and sovereignty: The eyes of the world are upon you. Notables from every country are gathered here in your honor. This is a gala day for you. Firefly replies: Well, a gal a day is enough for me. I don't think I could handle any more.
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The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
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There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit... Retire!
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Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies? There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready made.
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I have an agreement with the houseflies. The flies don't practice law and I don't walk on the ceiling.
Groucho Marx
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I've known and respected your husband for many years, and what's good enough for him is good enough for me
Groucho Marx
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I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can't see the stove
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Before you speak, make certain you have something worthwhile to say.
Groucho Marx
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Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
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Will you marry me? Do you have any money? Answer the second question first.
Groucho Marx
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If they'd lower the taxes and get rid of the smog and clean up the traffic mess, I really believe I'd settle here until the next earthquake.
Groucho Marx
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Three years ago I came to Florida without a nickel in my pocket. Now I've got a nickel in my pocket
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Chico: Here's the book, it's a dollar Groucho: Here's a ten, and shoot the change. Chico: I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books.
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Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head nor tail out of it.
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I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
Groucho Marx
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I am a man and you are a woman. I can't think of a better arrangement.
Groucho Marx
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Time flies like an arrow fruit flies like a banana
Groucho Marx
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Hello, I must be going, I cannot stay, I came to say, I must be going. I’m glad I came, but just the same, I must be going.
Groucho Marx
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My experience is that people are most likely to listen to reason when in bed.
Groucho Marx
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I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are.
Groucho Marx