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There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit... Retire!

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Retirement
Quit
Quitting
Age
Wanted
Thing
Retire
Work
Retired
Always
Retiring

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I intend to live forever, or die trying.
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Three years ago I came to Florida without a nickel in my pocket. Now I've got a nickel in my pocket
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Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies? There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready made.
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If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
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I can't understand why you don't get any mail from me. Perhaps it's because I haven't been writing
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He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days.
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I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.
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I have an agreement with the houseflies. The flies don't practice law and I don't walk on the ceiling.
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If you were a man, you'd go into business for yourself. I know a fellow who started out last year with just a canoe. Now he's got more women than you can shake a stick at, if that's your idea of a good time.
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Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns
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Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy
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Anyone buying this book is going to be out a tidy sum if he is sucked in by the title. I wish I could write a real sexy book that would be barred from the mails. Apparently nothing whets a reader's appetite for literature more than the news that the author has been thrown into a federal pokey for disturbing the libido of millions of Americans.
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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
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I met my wife on a ferry boat, and when we landed she gave me the slip
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Today's Father Day and we're giving you a tie, it's not much you know, it's just our way of showing you, you're a regular guy.
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Don't be silly. I'll write you twice a week.
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Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
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I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
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