Quote

There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit... Retire!

Groucho Marx

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Quitting
Age
Wanted
Thing
Retire
Work
Retired
Always
Retiring
Retirement
Quit

More quotes by Groucho Marx

Image
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around. If you write about someone else, you can stretch the truth from here to Finland. If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
Groucho Marx
Image
I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
Groucho Marx
Image
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
Groucho Marx
Image
I write by ear. I tried writing with the typewriter, but I found it too unwieldy
Groucho Marx
Image
My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
Groucho Marx
Image
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
Groucho Marx
Image
Come on in girls, and leave all hope behind.
Groucho Marx
Image
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
Groucho Marx
Image
Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
Groucho Marx
Image
Chico: Here's the book, it's a dollar Groucho: Here's a ten, and shoot the change. Chico: I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books.
Groucho Marx
Image
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
Groucho Marx
Image
Obviously there was no point in being a bachelor if his houseman was going to filch his booze. If he was going to get robbed, he might just as well get married.
Groucho Marx
Image
Making love to your wife is like shooting at sitting ducks.
Groucho Marx
Image
The Arab and the camel are inseparable. It's been said that and Arab would give up his wife rather than give up his camel. Personally, I haven't got a camel, but I think it's a great idea.
Groucho Marx
Image
Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head nor tail out of it.
Groucho Marx
Image
Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls.
Groucho Marx
Image
Money cannot buy you happiness, and happiness cannot buy you money. That might be a wise crack, but I doubt it.
Groucho Marx
Image
Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here!
Groucho Marx
Image
A cigar makers organization once said that I was the most famous cigar smoker in the world. I dont know if thats true, but once while visiting Havana, I went to a cigar factory. There were four hundred people there rolling cigars, and when they saw me, they all stood up and applauded.
Groucho Marx
Image
The first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract-- Look, why should we quarrel about a thing like this? We'll take it right out, eh?
Groucho Marx