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I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Animals
Animal
Vegetarian

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
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Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
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If you were a man, you'd go into business for yourself. I know a fellow who started out last year with just a canoe. Now he's got more women than you can shake a stick at, if that's your idea of a good time.
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The Two Most Important Words In The World Are Honesty And Sincerity, If You Can Fake These You've Got It Made.
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The foods that are recommended today are as palatable as a steady diet of wet blotters.
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I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
Groucho Marx
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I can't understand why you don't get any mail from me. Perhaps it's because I haven't been writing
Groucho Marx
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Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns
Groucho Marx
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Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know.
Groucho Marx
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She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party.
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Before you speak, make certain you have something worthwhile to say.
Groucho Marx
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Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
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I am a man and you are a woman. I can't think of a better arrangement.
Groucho Marx
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Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
Groucho Marx
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Even the intellectual crowd will have none of me. Physically, I look like one of them. Graying at the temples, I walk with a slight limp and wear thick glasses.
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Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication
Groucho Marx
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I would never join a country club with standards so low as to allow me as a member.
Groucho Marx
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A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
Groucho Marx
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Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
Groucho Marx
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It's hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa
Groucho Marx