Quote

This book was written in those long hours I spent waiting for my wife to get dressed to go out. And if she had never gotten dressed at all this book would never have been written.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Would
Written
Waiting
Hours
Reading
Funny
Dressed
Book
Gotten
Long
Spent
Never
Wife

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I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
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You bet I'm shy. I'm a shyster lawyer.
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Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
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If you are not having fun you are doing something wrong.
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Will you marry me? Do you have any money? Answer the second question first.
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Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members.
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How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them.
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I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.
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Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
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John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight.
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I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you've triumphed. Somebody once said it's what you dont see you're interested in, and this is true.
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Obviously there was no point in being a bachelor if his houseman was going to filch his booze. If he was going to get robbed, he might just as well get married.
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If you were a man, you'd go into business for yourself. I know a fellow who started out last year with just a canoe. Now he's got more women than you can shake a stick at, if that's your idea of a good time.
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Even the intellectual crowd will have none of me. Physically, I look like one of them. Graying at the temples, I walk with a slight limp and wear thick glasses.
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There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he is a crook.
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I hate London when it's not raining.
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Time wounds all heels.
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I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills
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I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
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What have future generations ever done for us?
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