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A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Humor
Inspiration
Funny
Clowning
Like
Aspirin
Clown
Twice
Fast
Works
More quotes by Groucho Marx
You get a canoe later and I'll paddle you.
Groucho Marx
She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. That's why she's in love with me.
Groucho Marx
Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world.
Groucho Marx
The difference between a politician and a snail is that the snail leaves its slime behind. Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
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I know, I know - you're a woman who's had a lot of tough breaks. Well, we can clean and tighten those brakes, but you'll have to stay in the garage all night.
Groucho Marx
Will you marry me? Do you have any money? Answer the second question first.
Groucho Marx
There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit... Retire!
Groucho Marx
Budget: a way of going broke methodically
Groucho Marx
Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor.
Groucho Marx
When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay.
Groucho Marx
John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight.
Groucho Marx
She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party.
Groucho Marx
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
Groucho Marx
Before you speak, make certain you have something worthwhile to say.
Groucho Marx
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
Groucho Marx
I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
Groucho Marx
Remember, the grass is always greener where you don't happen to be the neighbor.
Groucho Marx
Don't be silly. I'll write you twice a week.
Groucho Marx
I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure.
Groucho Marx
I don't know. When I was born there was a nurse taking care of me. What's the matter? Couldn't the nurse take care of herself? Sure she could. I just found that out too late.
Groucho Marx
