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A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Inspiration
Funny
Clowning
Like
Aspirin
Clown
Twice
Fast
Works
Humor
More quotes by Groucho Marx
[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face.
Groucho Marx
As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife.
Groucho Marx
If you are not having fun you are doing something wrong.
Groucho Marx
There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit... Retire!
Groucho Marx
You've got a goal in life. I've got a goal. Now all we need is a football team.
Groucho Marx
Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor.
Groucho Marx
And stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off!
Groucho Marx
Gerald Ford was unknown throughout America. Now he's unknown throughout the world.
Groucho Marx
Making love to your wife is like shooting at sitting ducks.
Groucho Marx
Now that you're Secretary of War, what kind of an army do you think we ought to have?
Groucho Marx
Oh, are you from Wales? Do you know a fella named Jonah-He used to live in whales for a while
Groucho Marx
Women should be obscene, not heard.
Groucho Marx
I can't understand why you don't get any mail from me. Perhaps it's because I haven't been writing
Groucho Marx
Well I thought my razor was dull until I heard his speech, and that reminds me of a story that's so dirty I'm ashamed to think of it myself.
Groucho Marx
I hate London when it's not raining.
Groucho Marx
My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
Groucho Marx
TV is the rat race of the century.
Groucho Marx
Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
Groucho Marx
I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
Groucho Marx
He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days.
Groucho Marx
