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A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Humor
Inspiration
Funny
Clowning
Like
Aspirin
Clown
Twice
Fast
Works
More quotes by Groucho Marx
Firefly: Where is your husband? Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead. Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse. Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end. Firefly: Hmmph. No wonder he passed away. Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him. Firefly: Oh I see. Then, it was murder.
Groucho Marx
Time wounds all heels.
Groucho Marx
I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
Groucho Marx
Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
Groucho Marx
I never go to movies where the hero's tits are bigger than the heroine's.
Groucho Marx
Humor is reason gone mad.
Groucho Marx
I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can't see the stove
Groucho Marx
Women should be obscene, not heard.
Groucho Marx
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Hail, hail Freedonia, land of the free!
Groucho Marx
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
Groucho Marx
I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are.
Groucho Marx
Only if the computers really love each other.
Groucho Marx
I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.
Groucho Marx
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
Groucho Marx
It is impossible to design anything that is foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
Groucho Marx
Come on in girls, and leave all hope behind.
Groucho Marx
Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world.
Groucho Marx
You bet I'm shy. I'm a shyster lawyer.
Groucho Marx
Why don't you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
Groucho Marx