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Don't be silly. I'll write you twice a week.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Twice
Silly
Week
Write
Writing
More quotes by Groucho Marx
I don't want to join the kind of a club that accepts people like me as members.
Groucho Marx
Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members.
Groucho Marx
I'll teach you to kick me...' You don't need to teach me--I already know how!
Groucho Marx
It is impossible to design anything that is foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
Groucho Marx
Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here!
Groucho Marx
Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
Groucho Marx
The Arab and the camel are inseparable. It's been said that and Arab would give up his wife rather than give up his camel. Personally, I haven't got a camel, but I think it's a great idea.
Groucho Marx
Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
Groucho Marx
She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. That's why she's in love with me.
Groucho Marx
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
Groucho Marx
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Groucho Marx
If we had some eggs we could have eggs and ham, if we had some ham.
Groucho Marx
Oh, why can't we break away from all this, just you and I, and lodge with my fleas in the hills? I mean flee to my lodge in the hills.
Groucho Marx
As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife.
Groucho Marx
Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy
Groucho Marx
A thing that has always baffled me about women is that they will saturate themselves with a pint of perfume, a pound of sachet powder, an evil-smelling lip rouge, a peculiar-smelling hair ointment and a half-dozen varieties of body oils, and then have the effrontery to complain of the aroma of a fine dollar cigar.
Groucho Marx
Humor is reason gone mad.
Groucho Marx
If the garbage man calls, tell him we don't want any.
Groucho Marx
One woman and one man might have been OK in your grandmother's day, but who wants to marry your grandmother? Not even your grandfather!
Groucho Marx
Chico: Here's the book, it's a dollar Groucho: Here's a ten, and shoot the change. Chico: I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books.
Groucho Marx
