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Why don't you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Bores
Sarcastic
Hole
Holes
Running
Sap
Bore

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
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Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
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He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days.
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Two women at a resort discussed dinner: The food here is lousy, the first noted. You're right! And such small portions!! the second added
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I'm gonna put extra blankets, free, in all your rooms, and there'll be no cover charge.
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Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies? There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready made.
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Will you marry me? Do you have any money? Answer the second question first.
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My experience is that people are most likely to listen to reason when in bed.
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Anyone buying this book is going to be out a tidy sum if he is sucked in by the title. I wish I could write a real sexy book that would be barred from the mails. Apparently nothing whets a reader's appetite for literature more than the news that the author has been thrown into a federal pokey for disturbing the libido of millions of Americans.
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This book was written in those long hours I spent waiting for my wife to get dressed to go out. And if she had never gotten dressed at all this book would never have been written.
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I know, I know - you're a woman who's had a lot of tough breaks. Well, we can clean and tighten those brakes, but you'll have to stay in the garage all night.
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Why don't you go home to your wife? Better yet, I'll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement, she won't notice any difference.
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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
Groucho Marx
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I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are.
Groucho Marx
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You're only as young as the woman you feel.
Groucho Marx
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A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
Groucho Marx
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You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar.
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Bel Air, I am convinced, was laid out by some diabolic sadist who deliberately decided not to use a compass or a surveyor.
Groucho Marx