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You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Silly
Inspiration
Crazy
Funny
Decoy
Duck
Rent
Ducks
Hunters

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
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Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
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Mrs. Teasdale congratulates him on his coronation and sovereignty: The eyes of the world are upon you. Notables from every country are gathered here in your honor. This is a gala day for you. Firefly replies: Well, a gal a day is enough for me. I don't think I could handle any more.
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Growing old is something you do if you're lucky.
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That's bad luck: three on a midget. From At The Circus
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There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he is a crook.
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Hello, I must be going, I cannot stay, I came to say, I must be going. I’m glad I came, but just the same, I must be going.
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If the garbage man calls, tell him we don't want any.
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I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.
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Why don't you go home to your wife? Better yet, I'll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement, she won't notice any difference.
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A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
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Before you speak, make certain you have something worthwhile to say.
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A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
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I don't know. When I was born there was a nurse taking care of me. What's the matter? Couldn't the nurse take care of herself? Sure she could. I just found that out too late.
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You get a canoe later and I'll paddle you.
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Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication
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Hail, hail Freedonia, land of the free!
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I think that the Peeps or Peppies or Pipes diaries would be much more popular had there been a universal pronuncation of his name.
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If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
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Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water.
Groucho Marx