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[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Good
Crazy
Face
Faces
Funny
Stills
Change
Still
Groucho
Heart
Silly
More quotes by Groucho Marx
You bet I'm shy. I'm a shyster lawyer.
Groucho Marx
Growing old is something you do if you're lucky.
Groucho Marx
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
Groucho Marx
Firefly: Where is your husband? Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead. Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse. Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end. Firefly: Hmmph. No wonder he passed away. Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him. Firefly: Oh I see. Then, it was murder.
Groucho Marx
Come on in girls, and leave all hope behind.
Groucho Marx
To write an autobiography of Groucho Marx would be as asinine as to read an autobiography of Groucho Marx.
Groucho Marx
Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members.
Groucho Marx
I am a man and you are a woman. I can't think of a better arrangement.
Groucho Marx
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
Groucho Marx
When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, I was just whispering in her mouth
Groucho Marx
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
Groucho Marx
Before you speak, make certain you have something worthwhile to say.
Groucho Marx
The first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract-- Look, why should we quarrel about a thing like this? We'll take it right out, eh?
Groucho Marx
She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
Groucho Marx
The Two Most Important Words In The World Are Honesty And Sincerity, If You Can Fake These You've Got It Made.
Groucho Marx
I've known and respected your husband for many years, and what's good enough for him is good enough for me
Groucho Marx
A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it
Groucho Marx
I think that the Peeps or Peppies or Pipes diaries would be much more popular had there been a universal pronuncation of his name.
Groucho Marx
The foods that are recommended today are as palatable as a steady diet of wet blotters.
Groucho Marx
I know, I know - you're a woman who's had a lot of tough breaks. Well, we can clean and tighten those brakes, but you'll have to stay in the garage all night.
Groucho Marx
