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[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Change
Still
Groucho
Heart
Silly
Good
Crazy
Face
Faces
Funny
Stills
More quotes by Groucho Marx
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
Groucho Marx
Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here!
Groucho Marx
How much would you want to stand at the wrong end of a shooting gallery?
Groucho Marx
I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can't see the stove
Groucho Marx
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow women.
Groucho Marx
Well I thought my razor was dull until I heard his speech, and that reminds me of a story that's so dirty I'm ashamed to think of it myself.
Groucho Marx
If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price we have to pay for sweeping a woman off hers.
Groucho Marx
This book was written in those long hours I spent waiting for my wife to get dressed to go out. And if she had never gotten dressed at all this book would never have been written.
Groucho Marx
Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls.
Groucho Marx
Budget: a way of going broke methodically
Groucho Marx
Poverty makes people sub-human Excess of wealth makes people inhuman
Groucho Marx
I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.
Groucho Marx
Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world.
Groucho Marx
Love had forged ahead so swiftly that in no time it had displaced agriculture as the leading industry of the period. To anyone who has tried both, this wont come as much of a surprise.
Groucho Marx
I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.
Groucho Marx
All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
Groucho Marx
The difference between a politician and a snail is that the snail leaves its slime behind. Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
Groucho Marx
Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
Groucho Marx
Bel Air, I am convinced, was laid out by some diabolic sadist who deliberately decided not to use a compass or a surveyor.
Groucho Marx
There's a man outside with a big black mustache. - Tell him I've got one.
Groucho Marx
