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[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Heart
Silly
Good
Crazy
Face
Faces
Funny
Stills
Change
Still
Groucho
More quotes by Groucho Marx
Any place I hang my head is home.
Groucho Marx
Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication
Groucho Marx
Mrs. Teasdale congratulates him on his coronation and sovereignty: The eyes of the world are upon you. Notables from every country are gathered here in your honor. This is a gala day for you. Firefly replies: Well, a gal a day is enough for me. I don't think I could handle any more.
Groucho Marx
Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here!
Groucho Marx
Oh, are you from Wales? Do you know a fella named Jonah-He used to live in whales for a while
Groucho Marx
I'll teach you to kick me...' You don't need to teach me--I already know how!
Groucho Marx
The Arab and the camel are inseparable. It's been said that and Arab would give up his wife rather than give up his camel. Personally, I haven't got a camel, but I think it's a great idea.
Groucho Marx
You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar.
Groucho Marx
I can't understand why you don't get any mail from me. Perhaps it's because I haven't been writing
Groucho Marx
Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world.
Groucho Marx
This book was written in those long hours I spent waiting for my wife to get dressed to go out. And if she had never gotten dressed at all this book would never have been written.
Groucho Marx
Firefly: Where is your husband? Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead. Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse. Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end. Firefly: Hmmph. No wonder he passed away. Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him. Firefly: Oh I see. Then, it was murder.
Groucho Marx
As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife.
Groucho Marx
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around. If you write about someone else, you can stretch the truth from here to Finland. If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
Groucho Marx
Making love to your wife is like shooting at sitting ducks.
Groucho Marx
How much would you want to stand at the wrong end of a shooting gallery?
Groucho Marx
If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.
Groucho Marx
Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water!
Groucho Marx
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Groucho Marx
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
Groucho Marx
