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[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Stills
Change
Still
Groucho
Heart
Silly
Good
Crazy
Face
Faces
Funny

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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Anyone buying this book is going to be out a tidy sum if he is sucked in by the title. I wish I could write a real sexy book that would be barred from the mails. Apparently nothing whets a reader's appetite for literature more than the news that the author has been thrown into a federal pokey for disturbing the libido of millions of Americans.
Groucho Marx
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Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the worst about Hollywood
Groucho Marx
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The difference between a politician and a snail is that the snail leaves its slime behind. Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
Groucho Marx
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Only if the computers really love each other.
Groucho Marx
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Two women at a resort discussed dinner: The food here is lousy, the first noted. You're right! And such small portions!! the second added
Groucho Marx
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She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. That's why she's in love with me.
Groucho Marx
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Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members.
Groucho Marx
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There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he is a crook.
Groucho Marx
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He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days.
Groucho Marx
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You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar.
Groucho Marx
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Why don't you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
Groucho Marx
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I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you've triumphed. Somebody once said it's what you dont see you're interested in, and this is true.
Groucho Marx
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I intend to live forever, or die trying.
Groucho Marx
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I would never join a country club with standards so low as to allow me as a member.
Groucho Marx
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No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
Groucho Marx
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A cigar makers organization once said that I was the most famous cigar smoker in the world. I dont know if thats true, but once while visiting Havana, I went to a cigar factory. There were four hundred people there rolling cigars, and when they saw me, they all stood up and applauded.
Groucho Marx
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Middle age is when you go to bed at night and hope you feel better in the morning. Old age is when you go to bed at night and hope you wake up in the morning.
Groucho Marx
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I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
Groucho Marx
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Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
Groucho Marx
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Before you speak, make certain you have something worthwhile to say.
Groucho Marx