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Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies? There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready made.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Funny
Made
Trenches
Men
Flies
Time
Killed
Like
Silly
Inspiration
Ready
Crazy

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Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
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I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
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Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house.
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I don't want to join the kind of a club that accepts people like me as members.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
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How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them.
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Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head nor tail out of it.
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You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?
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Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did.
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Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication
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A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
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Why don't you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
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If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
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If the garbage man calls, tell him we don't want any.
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You've got a goal in life. I've got a goal. Now all we need is a football team.
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