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As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Crazy
Wife
Clear
Funny
Divorce
Silly
Case
Soon
Cases

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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And stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off!
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Even the intellectual crowd will have none of me. Physically, I look like one of them. Graying at the temples, I walk with a slight limp and wear thick glasses.
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Budget: a way of going broke methodically
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Well I thought my razor was dull until I heard his speech, and that reminds me of a story that's so dirty I'm ashamed to think of it myself.
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Every time someone turns on a TV, I go in the other room and read.
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I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are.
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I know, I know - you're a woman who's had a lot of tough breaks. Well, we can clean and tighten those brakes, but you'll have to stay in the garage all night.
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Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water.
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Why don't you go home to your wife? Better yet, I'll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement, she won't notice any difference.
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I don't know. When I was born there was a nurse taking care of me. What's the matter? Couldn't the nurse take care of herself? Sure she could. I just found that out too late.
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Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls.
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[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.
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I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
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Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house.
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I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
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Oh, why can't we break away from all this, just you and I, and lodge with my fleas in the hills? I mean flee to my lodge in the hills.
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Mrs. Teasdale congratulates him on his coronation and sovereignty: The eyes of the world are upon you. Notables from every country are gathered here in your honor. This is a gala day for you. Firefly replies: Well, a gal a day is enough for me. I don't think I could handle any more.
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If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
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Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you'll duck soup for the rest of your life
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Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head nor tail out of it.
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