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Since my daughter is only half-Jewish, could she go in the water up to her knees?
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Humor
Justice
Since
Half
Water
Jewish
Funny
Knees
Diversity
Daughter
More quotes by Groucho Marx
You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar.
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Remember, the grass is always greener where you don't happen to be the neighbor.
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You get a canoe later and I'll paddle you.
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Oh, are you from Wales? Do you know a fella named Jonah-He used to live in whales for a while
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Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
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When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay.
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A thing that has always baffled me about women is that they will saturate themselves with a pint of perfume, a pound of sachet powder, an evil-smelling lip rouge, a peculiar-smelling hair ointment and a half-dozen varieties of body oils, and then have the effrontery to complain of the aroma of a fine dollar cigar.
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I cannot say that I don't disagree with you.
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Will you marry me? Do you have any money? Answer the second question first.
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The foods that are recommended today are as palatable as a steady diet of wet blotters.
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It isn't so much that hard times are coming the change observed is mostly soft times going.
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Time wounds all heels.
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Money cannot buy you happiness, and happiness cannot buy you money. That might be a wise crack, but I doubt it.
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[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face.
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The difference between a politician and a snail is that the snail leaves its slime behind. Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
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I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.
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I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
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Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
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I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
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