Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.
Groucho Marx
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Humor
Name
Names
Funny
Groucho
Real
Sarcasm
Sarcastic
Breaking
Friend
More quotes by Groucho Marx
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Groucho Marx
When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, I was just whispering in her mouth
Groucho Marx
Growing old is something you do if you're lucky.
Groucho Marx
Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
Groucho Marx
If the garbage man calls, tell him we don't want any.
Groucho Marx
Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
Groucho Marx
Some day there will have to be some new rules established about name-calling. I don't mean the routine cursing that goes on between husband and wife, but the naming of defenseless, unsuspecting babies.
Groucho Marx
I've known and respected your husband for many years, and what's good enough for him is good enough for me
Groucho Marx
I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills
Groucho Marx
Will you marry me? Do you have any money? Answer the second question first.
Groucho Marx
Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head nor tail out of it.
Groucho Marx
You bet I'm shy. I'm a shyster lawyer.
Groucho Marx
I hate London when it's not raining.
Groucho Marx
How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them.
Groucho Marx
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
Groucho Marx
Don't be silly. I'll write you twice a week.
Groucho Marx
I never go to movies where the hero's tits are bigger than the heroine's.
Groucho Marx
You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?
Groucho Marx
Today's Father Day and we're giving you a tie, it's not much you know, it's just our way of showing you, you're a regular guy.
Groucho Marx
A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
Groucho Marx
