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No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Funny
Groucho
Real
Sarcasm
Sarcastic
Breaking
Friend
Humor
Name
Names
More quotes by Groucho Marx
Making love to your wife is like shooting at sitting ducks.
Groucho Marx
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
Groucho Marx
There's a man outside with a big black mustache. - Tell him I've got one.
Groucho Marx
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
Groucho Marx
How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them.
Groucho Marx
I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you've triumphed. Somebody once said it's what you dont see you're interested in, and this is true.
Groucho Marx
Come on in girls, and leave all hope behind.
Groucho Marx
[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face.
Groucho Marx
It isn't so much that hard times are coming the change observed is mostly soft times going.
Groucho Marx
Time flies like an arrow fruit flies like a banana
Groucho Marx
Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head nor tail out of it.
Groucho Marx
Money cannot buy you happiness, and happiness cannot buy you money. That might be a wise crack, but I doubt it.
Groucho Marx
All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
Groucho Marx
I have an agreement with the houseflies. The flies don't practice law and I don't walk on the ceiling.
Groucho Marx
Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
Groucho Marx
I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
Groucho Marx
Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water.
Groucho Marx
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
Groucho Marx
I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are.
Groucho Marx
TV is the rat race of the century.
Groucho Marx
