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No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Sarcastic
Breaking
Friend
Humor
Name
Names
Funny
Groucho
Real
Sarcasm
More quotes by Groucho Marx
I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are.
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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
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I know, I know - you're a woman who's had a lot of tough breaks. Well, we can clean and tighten those brakes, but you'll have to stay in the garage all night.
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Why don't you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
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I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.
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I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.
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Poverty makes people sub-human Excess of wealth makes people inhuman
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I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure.
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How much would you want to stand at the wrong end of a shooting gallery?
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You are going Uruguay, and I'm going my way
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If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
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The foods that are recommended today are as palatable as a steady diet of wet blotters.
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This book was written in those long hours I spent waiting for my wife to get dressed to go out. And if she had never gotten dressed at all this book would never have been written.
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Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house.
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I met my wife on a ferry boat, and when we landed she gave me the slip
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She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
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She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party.
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Patience is the art of finding something else to do.
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If the garbage man calls, tell him we don't want any.
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Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns
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