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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Wealth
Handy
Stupid
Savings
Since
Dislike
Funny
Nearly
Money
Saving
Everything
Investment
Things
Inspiring
Financial
Frees

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A cigar makers organization once said that I was the most famous cigar smoker in the world. I dont know if thats true, but once while visiting Havana, I went to a cigar factory. There were four hundred people there rolling cigars, and when they saw me, they all stood up and applauded.
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A woman can smell mink through six inches of lead.
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Come on in girls, and leave all hope behind.
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I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but love fried eggs would buy it if the price was right.
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TV is the rat race of the century.
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If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
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Don't let the fear of the thorn keep you from the rose.
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You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar.
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I'll teach you to kick me...' You don't need to teach me--I already know how!
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She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party.
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Humor is reason gone mad.
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He thinks I look alike!
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Women should be obscene, not heard.
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And stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off!
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If you were a man, you'd go into business for yourself. I know a fellow who started out last year with just a canoe. Now he's got more women than you can shake a stick at, if that's your idea of a good time.
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Oh, are you from Wales? Do you know a fella named Jonah-He used to live in whales for a while
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I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.
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I write by ear. I tried writing with the typewriter, but I found it too unwieldy
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I think you've got something there, but I'll wait outside until you clean it up.
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You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?
Groucho Marx