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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Funny
Nearly
Money
Saving
Everything
Investment
Things
Inspiring
Financial
Frees
Wealth
Handy
Stupid
Savings
Since
Dislike
More quotes by Groucho Marx
As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife.
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I don't know. When I was born there was a nurse taking care of me. What's the matter? Couldn't the nurse take care of herself? Sure she could. I just found that out too late.
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I hate London when it's not raining.
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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
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I've known and respected your husband for many years, and what's good enough for him is good enough for me
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Making love to your wife is like shooting at sitting ducks.
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There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he is a crook.
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If you were a man, you'd go into business for yourself. I know a fellow who started out last year with just a canoe. Now he's got more women than you can shake a stick at, if that's your idea of a good time.
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Time wounds all heels.
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Growing old is something you do if you're lucky.
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I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
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Obviously there was no point in being a bachelor if his houseman was going to filch his booze. If he was going to get robbed, he might just as well get married.
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When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, I was just whispering in her mouth
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Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
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The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around. If you write about someone else, you can stretch the truth from here to Finland. If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
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There's a man outside with a big black mustache. - Tell him I've got one.
Groucho Marx
I shall drink no # wine before it's time! OK, it's time.
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Will you marry me? Do you have any money? Answer the second question first.
Groucho Marx
Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
Groucho Marx
Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
Groucho Marx