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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Stupid
Savings
Since
Dislike
Funny
Nearly
Money
Saving
Everything
Investment
Things
Inspiring
Financial
Frees
Wealth
Handy

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them.
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Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
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Why don't you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
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Making love to your wife is like shooting at sitting ducks.
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I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
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The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around. If you write about someone else, you can stretch the truth from here to Finland. If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
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Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head nor tail out of it.
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Since my daughter is only half-Jewish, could she go in the water up to her knees?
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If you were a man, you'd go into business for yourself. I know a fellow who started out last year with just a canoe. Now he's got more women than you can shake a stick at, if that's your idea of a good time.
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A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
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Before you speak, make certain you have something worthwhile to say.
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Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world.
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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
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If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
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I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
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Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?
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Will you marry me? Do you have any money? Answer the second question first.
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There's only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family, for everything else you need a plan.
Groucho Marx