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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Everything
Investment
Things
Inspiring
Financial
Frees
Wealth
Handy
Stupid
Savings
Since
Dislike
Funny
Nearly
Money
Saving

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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I know, I know - you're a woman who's had a lot of tough breaks. Well, we can clean and tighten those brakes, but you'll have to stay in the garage all night.
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No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
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Will you marry me? Do you have any money? Answer the second question first.
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Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you'll duck soup for the rest of your life
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A thing that has always baffled me about women is that they will saturate themselves with a pint of perfume, a pound of sachet powder, an evil-smelling lip rouge, a peculiar-smelling hair ointment and a half-dozen varieties of body oils, and then have the effrontery to complain of the aroma of a fine dollar cigar.
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Given the choice between a woman and a cigar, I will always choose the cigar.
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And stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off!
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Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
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My experience is that people are most likely to listen to reason when in bed.
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I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
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I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
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I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books
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Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication
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Yes, darling, let me cover your face with kisses-On second thought, just let me cover your face
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Now that you're Secretary of War, what kind of an army do you think we ought to have?
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I think that the Peeps or Peppies or Pipes diaries would be much more popular had there been a universal pronuncation of his name.
Groucho Marx
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Why don't you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
Groucho Marx
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No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.
Groucho Marx
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Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
Groucho Marx