Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
Groucho Marx
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Learn
Mouth
Keep
Mouths
Husband
Marriage
Silence
Wants
Checkbook
Open
Wedding
Happy
Shut
More quotes by Groucho Marx
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
Groucho Marx
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
Groucho Marx
I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.
Groucho Marx
Well I thought my razor was dull until I heard his speech, and that reminds me of a story that's so dirty I'm ashamed to think of it myself.
Groucho Marx
You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?
Groucho Marx
Time flies like an arrow fruit flies like a banana
Groucho Marx
That's bad luck: three on a midget. From At The Circus
Groucho Marx
I am a man and you are a woman. I can't think of a better arrangement.
Groucho Marx
The Arab and the camel are inseparable. It's been said that and Arab would give up his wife rather than give up his camel. Personally, I haven't got a camel, but I think it's a great idea.
Groucho Marx
Bel Air, I am convinced, was laid out by some diabolic sadist who deliberately decided not to use a compass or a surveyor.
Groucho Marx
My experience is that people are most likely to listen to reason when in bed.
Groucho Marx
Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
Groucho Marx
If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price we have to pay for sweeping a woman off hers.
Groucho Marx
Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you'll duck soup for the rest of your life
Groucho Marx
Now that you're Secretary of War, what kind of an army do you think we ought to have?
Groucho Marx
I would never join a country club with standards so low as to allow me as a member.
Groucho Marx
Today's Father Day and we're giving you a tie, it's not much you know, it's just our way of showing you, you're a regular guy.
Groucho Marx
Making love to your wife is like shooting at sitting ducks.
Groucho Marx
Why don't you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
Groucho Marx
I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you've triumphed. Somebody once said it's what you dont see you're interested in, and this is true.
Groucho Marx
