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The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Husband
Marriage
Silence
Wants
Checkbook
Open
Wedding
Happy
Shut
Learn
Mouth
Keep
Mouths
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Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
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Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
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I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
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Madam, you're making history, in fact, you're making me, and I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself
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It isn't so much that hard times are coming the change observed is mostly soft times going.
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
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Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world.
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Hail, hail Freedonia, land of the free!
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Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you'll duck soup for the rest of your life
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I'll teach you to kick me...' You don't need to teach me--I already know how!
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Women should be obscene, not heard.
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Firefly: Where is your husband? Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead. Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse. Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end. Firefly: Hmmph. No wonder he passed away. Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him. Firefly: Oh I see. Then, it was murder.
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Two women at a resort discussed dinner: The food here is lousy, the first noted. You're right! And such small portions!! the second added
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I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but love fried eggs would buy it if the price was right.
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I can't understand why you don't get any mail from me. Perhaps it's because I haven't been writing
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I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.
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Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know.
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How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them.
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Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here!
Groucho Marx
