Quote

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.

Groucho Marx

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Wants
Checkbook
Open
Wedding
Happy
Shut
Learn
Mouth
Keep
Mouths
Husband
Marriage
Silence

More quotes by Groucho Marx

Image
Budget: a way of going broke methodically
Groucho Marx
Image
Mr.Blank's reputation as a card shark had preceded him. No one accused him of being dishonest, but on the other hand no one accused him of being honest.
Groucho Marx
Image
I met my wife on a ferry boat, and when we landed she gave me the slip
Groucho Marx
Image
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
Groucho Marx
Image
Yes, darling, let me cover your face with kisses-On second thought, just let me cover your face
Groucho Marx
Image
Every time someone turns on a TV, I go in the other room and read.
Groucho Marx
Image
Mrs. Teasdale congratulates him on his coronation and sovereignty: The eyes of the world are upon you. Notables from every country are gathered here in your honor. This is a gala day for you. Firefly replies: Well, a gal a day is enough for me. I don't think I could handle any more.
Groucho Marx
Image
What have future generations ever done for us?
Groucho Marx
Image
Now that you're Secretary of War, what kind of an army do you think we ought to have?
Groucho Marx
Image
If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price we have to pay for sweeping a woman off hers.
Groucho Marx
Image
Two women at a resort discussed dinner: The food here is lousy, the first noted. You're right! And such small portions!! the second added
Groucho Marx
Image
I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.
Groucho Marx
Image
Why don't you go home to your wife? Better yet, I'll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement, she won't notice any difference.
Groucho Marx
Image
Obviously there was no point in being a bachelor if his houseman was going to filch his booze. If he was going to get robbed, he might just as well get married.
Groucho Marx
Image
Even the intellectual crowd will have none of me. Physically, I look like one of them. Graying at the temples, I walk with a slight limp and wear thick glasses.
Groucho Marx
Image
I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
Groucho Marx
Image
There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit... Retire!
Groucho Marx
Image
Given the choice between a woman and a cigar, I will always choose the cigar.
Groucho Marx
Image
You are going Uruguay, and I'm going my way
Groucho Marx
Image
Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the worst about Hollywood
Groucho Marx