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Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Always
Aren
Ruins
Conversation
Witty
Listening
Humorous
Everybody
Realized
Funny
Killing
Trying
Anymore
Years
Communication
Really
Tried
More quotes by Groucho Marx
I know, I know - you're a woman who's had a lot of tough breaks. Well, we can clean and tighten those brakes, but you'll have to stay in the garage all night.
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Time flies like an arrow fruit flies like a banana
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Even the intellectual crowd will have none of me. Physically, I look like one of them. Graying at the temples, I walk with a slight limp and wear thick glasses.
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There's only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family, for everything else you need a plan.
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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
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He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days.
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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
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If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
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Making love to your wife is like shooting at sitting ducks.
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Oh, why can't we break away from all this, just you and I, and lodge with my fleas in the hills? I mean flee to my lodge in the hills.
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I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
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I would never join a country club with standards so low as to allow me as a member.
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I intend to live forever, or die trying.
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You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?
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Poverty makes people sub-human Excess of wealth makes people inhuman
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I shall drink no # wine before it's time! OK, it's time.
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And stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off!
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I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
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Time wounds all heels.
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I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
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