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If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Funny
Find
Hard
Sarcasm
Would
Sarcastic
Humour
Laugh
Laughing
Happy

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
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Yes, darling, let me cover your face with kisses-On second thought, just let me cover your face
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The only real laughter comes from despair.
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If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much - just an occasional sun visor.
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Don't be silly. I'll write you twice a week.
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Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you'll duck soup for the rest of your life
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I don't want to join the kind of a club that accepts people like me as members.
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She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party.
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Firefly: Where is your husband? Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead. Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse. Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end. Firefly: Hmmph. No wonder he passed away. Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him. Firefly: Oh I see. Then, it was murder.
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He thinks I look alike!
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I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
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I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.
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I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.
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There's only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family, for everything else you need a plan.
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Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls.
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Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world.
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I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.
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I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
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I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
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Why don't you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
Groucho Marx