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If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Laughing
Happy
Funny
Find
Hard
Sarcasm
Would
Sarcastic
Humour
Laugh
More quotes by Groucho Marx
The difference between a politician and a snail is that the snail leaves its slime behind. Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
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Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow women.
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Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
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If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price we have to pay for sweeping a woman off hers.
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You bet I'm shy. I'm a shyster lawyer.
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I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.
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Don't be silly. I'll write you twice a week.
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If it gets any hotter in here I could use a big fan.
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Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members.
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Oh, are you from Wales? Do you know a fella named Jonah-He used to live in whales for a while
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To write an autobiography of Groucho Marx would be as asinine as to read an autobiography of Groucho Marx.
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TV is the rat race of the century.
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That's nothing - my alarm clock is set for eight.
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A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
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My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
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She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party.
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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
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One woman and one man might have been OK in your grandmother's day, but who wants to marry your grandmother? Not even your grandfather!
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I've known and respected your husband for many years, and what's good enough for him is good enough for me
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Will you marry me? Do you have any money? Answer the second question first.
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