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If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Funny
Find
Hard
Sarcasm
Would
Sarcastic
Humour
Laugh
Laughing
Happy

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
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My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
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The Arab and the camel are inseparable. It's been said that and Arab would give up his wife rather than give up his camel. Personally, I haven't got a camel, but I think it's a great idea.
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A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
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When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay.
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All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
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Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication
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And stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off!
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A thing that has always baffled me about women is that they will saturate themselves with a pint of perfume, a pound of sachet powder, an evil-smelling lip rouge, a peculiar-smelling hair ointment and a half-dozen varieties of body oils, and then have the effrontery to complain of the aroma of a fine dollar cigar.
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Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did.
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I'll teach you to kick me...' You don't need to teach me--I already know how!
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Yes, darling, let me cover your face with kisses-On second thought, just let me cover your face
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Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
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I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
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Making love to your wife is like shooting at sitting ducks.
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I think you've got something there, but I'll wait outside until you clean it up.
Groucho Marx
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There's a man outside with a big black mustache. - Tell him I've got one.
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The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around. If you write about someone else, you can stretch the truth from here to Finland. If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
Groucho Marx
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A woman can smell mink through six inches of lead.
Groucho Marx