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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Cause
Divorced
Crazy
Sarcastic
Causes
Wedding
Funny
Chief
Chiefs
Divorce
Silly
Marriage
Sarcasm

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Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
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Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies? There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready made.
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I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
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I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are.
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I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books
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Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication
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You get a canoe later and I'll paddle you.
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I think you've got something there, but I'll wait outside until you clean it up.
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I met my wife on a ferry boat, and when we landed she gave me the slip
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Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water!
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I write by ear. I tried writing with the typewriter, but I found it too unwieldy
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[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face.
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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
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Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
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The first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract-- Look, why should we quarrel about a thing like this? We'll take it right out, eh?
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I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.
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The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around. If you write about someone else, you can stretch the truth from here to Finland. If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
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I don't want to join the kind of a club that accepts people like me as members.
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Given the choice between a woman and a cigar, I will always choose the cigar.
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Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
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