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Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Thinking
Eyes
Morning
Happiness
Happy
Eye
Unhappy
Power
Positive
Today
Events
Make
Open

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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Hail, hail Freedonia, land of the free!
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I can't understand why you don't get any mail from me. Perhaps it's because I haven't been writing
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You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar.
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A thing that has always baffled me about women is that they will saturate themselves with a pint of perfume, a pound of sachet powder, an evil-smelling lip rouge, a peculiar-smelling hair ointment and a half-dozen varieties of body oils, and then have the effrontery to complain of the aroma of a fine dollar cigar.
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I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
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I am a man and you are a woman. I can't think of a better arrangement.
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The difference between a politician and a snail is that the snail leaves its slime behind. Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
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Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head nor tail out of it.
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Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did.
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I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
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Remember, the grass is always greener where you don't happen to be the neighbor.
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Growing old is something you do if you're lucky.
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I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.
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Money cannot buy you happiness, and happiness cannot buy you money. That might be a wise crack, but I doubt it.
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A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
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If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
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Yes, darling, let me cover your face with kisses-On second thought, just let me cover your face
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
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I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.
Groucho Marx