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Bel Air, I am convinced, was laid out by some diabolic sadist who deliberately decided not to use a compass or a surveyor.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Laid
Witty
Humorous
Convinced
Diabolic
Air
Sadist
Decided
Surveyors
Funny
Deliberately
Use
Compass
More quotes by Groucho Marx
Patience is the art of finding something else to do.
Groucho Marx
To write an autobiography of Groucho Marx would be as asinine as to read an autobiography of Groucho Marx.
Groucho Marx
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
Groucho Marx
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
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Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know.
Groucho Marx
Time wounds all heels.
Groucho Marx
Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you'll duck soup for the rest of your life
Groucho Marx
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Groucho Marx
Mrs. Teasdale congratulates him on his coronation and sovereignty: The eyes of the world are upon you. Notables from every country are gathered here in your honor. This is a gala day for you. Firefly replies: Well, a gal a day is enough for me. I don't think I could handle any more.
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I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
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Well I thought my razor was dull until I heard his speech, and that reminds me of a story that's so dirty I'm ashamed to think of it myself.
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It's hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa
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Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
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Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies? There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready made.
Groucho Marx
Today's Father Day and we're giving you a tie, it's not much you know, it's just our way of showing you, you're a regular guy.
Groucho Marx
I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
Groucho Marx
Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members.
Groucho Marx
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
Groucho Marx
Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
Groucho Marx
Oh, why can't we break away from all this, just you and I, and lodge with my fleas in the hills? I mean flee to my lodge in the hills.
Groucho Marx