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Bel Air, I am convinced, was laid out by some diabolic sadist who deliberately decided not to use a compass or a surveyor.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Convinced
Diabolic
Air
Sadist
Decided
Surveyors
Funny
Deliberately
Use
Compass
Laid
Witty
Humorous
More quotes by Groucho Marx
Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?
Groucho Marx
A thing that has always baffled me about women is that they will saturate themselves with a pint of perfume, a pound of sachet powder, an evil-smelling lip rouge, a peculiar-smelling hair ointment and a half-dozen varieties of body oils, and then have the effrontery to complain of the aroma of a fine dollar cigar.
Groucho Marx
I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
Groucho Marx
If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price we have to pay for sweeping a woman off hers.
Groucho Marx
No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
Groucho Marx
Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here!
Groucho Marx
I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but love fried eggs would buy it if the price was right.
Groucho Marx
Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
Groucho Marx
And stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off!
Groucho Marx
I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can't see the stove
Groucho Marx
I'm gonna put extra blankets, free, in all your rooms, and there'll be no cover charge.
Groucho Marx
It isn't so much that hard times are coming the change observed is mostly soft times going.
Groucho Marx
Now that you're Secretary of War, what kind of an army do you think we ought to have?
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I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
Groucho Marx
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
Groucho Marx
Budget: a way of going broke methodically
Groucho Marx
Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
Groucho Marx
I hate London when it's not raining.
Groucho Marx
Yes, darling, let me cover your face with kisses-On second thought, just let me cover your face
Groucho Marx
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
Groucho Marx