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I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Witty
Looking
Funny
Girl
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More quotes by Groucho Marx

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[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face.
Groucho Marx
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No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
Groucho Marx
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Three years ago I came to Florida without a nickel in my pocket. Now I've got a nickel in my pocket
Groucho Marx
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And stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off!
Groucho Marx
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Obviously there was no point in being a bachelor if his houseman was going to filch his booze. If he was going to get robbed, he might just as well get married.
Groucho Marx
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Why don't you go home to your wife? Better yet, I'll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement, she won't notice any difference.
Groucho Marx
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
Groucho Marx
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It's hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa
Groucho Marx
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Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know.
Groucho Marx
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Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
Groucho Marx
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I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
Groucho Marx
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What have future generations ever done for us?
Groucho Marx
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Today's Father Day and we're giving you a tie, it's not much you know, it's just our way of showing you, you're a regular guy.
Groucho Marx
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I've known and respected your husband for many years, and what's good enough for him is good enough for me
Groucho Marx
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I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
Groucho Marx
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Hail, hail Freedonia, land of the free!
Groucho Marx
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Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
Groucho Marx
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I write by ear. I tried writing with the typewriter, but I found it too unwieldy
Groucho Marx
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Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
Groucho Marx
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The only real laughter comes from despair.
Groucho Marx