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I don't know. When I was born there was a nurse taking care of me. What's the matter? Couldn't the nurse take care of herself? Sure she could. I just found that out too late.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Found
Care
Matter
Nurse
Take
Couldn
Late
Taking
Sure
Born

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
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I can't understand why you don't get any mail from me. Perhaps it's because I haven't been writing
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[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.
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I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
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Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world.
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Time flies like an arrow fruit flies like a banana
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Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
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Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
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Now that you're Secretary of War, what kind of an army do you think we ought to have?
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Any place I hang my head is home.
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You get a canoe later and I'll paddle you.
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The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
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You're only as young as the woman you feel.
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There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit... Retire!
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He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days.
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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
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I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
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John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight.
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I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
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Hello, I must be going, I cannot stay, I came to say, I must be going. I’m glad I came, but just the same, I must be going.
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