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I don't know. When I was born there was a nurse taking care of me. What's the matter? Couldn't the nurse take care of herself? Sure she could. I just found that out too late.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Found
Care
Matter
Nurse
Take
Couldn
Late
Taking
Sure
Born

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Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
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The difference between a politician and a snail is that the snail leaves its slime behind. Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
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All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
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No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.
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I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are.
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How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them.
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Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns
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Three years ago I came to Florida without a nickel in my pocket. Now I've got a nickel in my pocket
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I can't understand why you don't get any mail from me. Perhaps it's because I haven't been writing
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I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
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Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
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Remember, the grass is always greener where you don't happen to be the neighbor.
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Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
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Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls.
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If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
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Well I thought my razor was dull until I heard his speech, and that reminds me of a story that's so dirty I'm ashamed to think of it myself.
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I've known and respected your husband for many years, and what's good enough for him is good enough for me
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If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price we have to pay for sweeping a woman off hers.
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Humor is reason gone mad.
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It is impossible to design anything that is foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
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