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Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Never
Humorous
Silly
Meet
Inspiration
Toasts
Crazy
Girlfriends
Wife
Wives
Funny
Girlfriend
May
Witty

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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Why don't you go home to your wife? Better yet, I'll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement, she won't notice any difference.
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I intend to live forever, or die trying.
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Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls.
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A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
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I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can't see the stove
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One woman and one man might have been OK in your grandmother's day, but who wants to marry your grandmother? Not even your grandfather!
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I cannot say that I don't disagree with you.
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Money cannot buy you happiness, and happiness cannot buy you money. That might be a wise crack, but I doubt it.
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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
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I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
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I've known and respected your husband for many years, and what's good enough for him is good enough for me
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This book was written in those long hours I spent waiting for my wife to get dressed to go out. And if she had never gotten dressed at all this book would never have been written.
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Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
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I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
Groucho Marx
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No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.
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You get a canoe later and I'll paddle you.
Groucho Marx
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I write by ear. I tried writing with the typewriter, but I found it too unwieldy
Groucho Marx
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I shall drink no # wine before it's time! OK, it's time.
Groucho Marx
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Love had forged ahead so swiftly that in no time it had displaced agriculture as the leading industry of the period. To anyone who has tried both, this wont come as much of a surprise.
Groucho Marx