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Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Silly
Meet
Inspiration
Toasts
Crazy
Girlfriends
Wife
Wives
Funny
Girlfriend
May
Witty
Never
Humorous

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife.
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I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
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I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
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I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
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Love had forged ahead so swiftly that in no time it had displaced agriculture as the leading industry of the period. To anyone who has tried both, this wont come as much of a surprise.
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I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure.
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When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, I was just whispering in her mouth
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How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them.
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Hail, hail Freedonia, land of the free!
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Gerald Ford was unknown throughout America. Now he's unknown throughout the world.
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And stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off!
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If it gets any hotter in here I could use a big fan.
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John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight.
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Today's Father Day and we're giving you a tie, it's not much you know, it's just our way of showing you, you're a regular guy.
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Making love to your wife is like shooting at sitting ducks.
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Three years ago I came to Florida without a nickel in my pocket. Now I've got a nickel in my pocket
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If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
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Two women at a resort discussed dinner: The food here is lousy, the first noted. You're right! And such small portions!! the second added
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Will you marry me? Do you have any money? Answer the second question first.
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She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. That's why she's in love with me.
Groucho Marx