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Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Never
Humorous
Silly
Meet
Inspiration
Toasts
Crazy
Girlfriends
Wife
Wives
Funny
Girlfriend
May
Witty

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party.
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Hail, hail Freedonia, land of the free!
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Well I thought my razor was dull until I heard his speech, and that reminds me of a story that's so dirty I'm ashamed to think of it myself.
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If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
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You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar.
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Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world.
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Mr.Blank's reputation as a card shark had preceded him. No one accused him of being dishonest, but on the other hand no one accused him of being honest.
Groucho Marx
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Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members.
Groucho Marx
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I don't want to join the kind of a club that accepts people like me as members.
Groucho Marx
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I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
Groucho Marx
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There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he is a crook.
Groucho Marx
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Yes, darling, let me cover your face with kisses-On second thought, just let me cover your face
Groucho Marx
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Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies? There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready made.
Groucho Marx
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I intend to live forever, or die trying.
Groucho Marx
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Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you'll duck soup for the rest of your life
Groucho Marx
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I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
Groucho Marx
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Any place I hang my head is home.
Groucho Marx
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Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?
Groucho Marx
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You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?
Groucho Marx
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Hello, I must be going, I cannot stay, I came to say, I must be going. I’m glad I came, but just the same, I must be going.
Groucho Marx