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Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Crazy
Girlfriends
Wife
Wives
Funny
Girlfriend
May
Witty
Never
Humorous
Silly
Meet
Inspiration
Toasts

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water!
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Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
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The Two Most Important Words In The World Are Honesty And Sincerity, If You Can Fake These You've Got It Made.
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I think you've got something there, but I'll wait outside until you clean it up.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
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I don't know. When I was born there was a nurse taking care of me. What's the matter? Couldn't the nurse take care of herself? Sure she could. I just found that out too late.
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I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
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I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but love fried eggs would buy it if the price was right.
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Oh, why can't we break away from all this, just you and I, and lodge with my fleas in the hills? I mean flee to my lodge in the hills.
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You bet I'm shy. I'm a shyster lawyer.
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Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls.
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I can't understand why you don't get any mail from me. Perhaps it's because I haven't been writing
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Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
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Money cannot buy you happiness, and happiness cannot buy you money. That might be a wise crack, but I doubt it.
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You get a canoe later and I'll paddle you.
Groucho Marx
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And stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off!
Groucho Marx
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Now that you're Secretary of War, what kind of an army do you think we ought to have?
Groucho Marx
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If they'd lower the taxes and get rid of the smog and clean up the traffic mess, I really believe I'd settle here until the next earthquake.
Groucho Marx
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Mrs. Teasdale congratulates him on his coronation and sovereignty: The eyes of the world are upon you. Notables from every country are gathered here in your honor. This is a gala day for you. Firefly replies: Well, a gal a day is enough for me. I don't think I could handle any more.
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I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
Groucho Marx