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Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
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More quotes by Groucho Marx
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
Groucho Marx
I met my wife on a ferry boat, and when we landed she gave me the slip
Groucho Marx
Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns
Groucho Marx
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
Groucho Marx
Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world.
Groucho Marx
You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?
Groucho Marx
Money cannot buy you happiness, and happiness cannot buy you money. That might be a wise crack, but I doubt it.
Groucho Marx
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Groucho Marx
Any place I hang my head is home.
Groucho Marx
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
Groucho Marx
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
Groucho Marx
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
Groucho Marx
When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, I was just whispering in her mouth
Groucho Marx
Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members.
Groucho Marx
I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
Groucho Marx
I have an agreement with the houseflies. The flies don't practice law and I don't walk on the ceiling.
Groucho Marx
Budget: a way of going broke methodically
Groucho Marx
Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did.
Groucho Marx
How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them.
Groucho Marx
Only if the computers really love each other.
Groucho Marx
